Filipino-American Club of the Jersey Shore, Monmouth County, New Jersey, filamorg.com

COURTESY OF:  The author,

Aileen Borja-Slark is a Filipina entrepreneur married to a British national. She has a degree in Law and Political Science and writes for Filipino-Western Relationships.  (western-asian.com).

Then of course there is the ever ready smile of Filipinas no matter what hardship they are going through. To distinguish ourselves from other Asians who seem cold because of their poker-face exteriors and westerners who can’t seem to stop complaining left and right even if they already have almost everything. Filipinas always seem to exude an aura of warmth, friendliness, and contentment. Ok the contentment bit might not be good to some extent because it is usually equated with a resignation to whatever life they have and not to strive harder but at least they are happy. Experience also taught me that too much warmth and friendliness in a foreign country could be construed as being naïve and clueless which is also a disadvantage.

Our skin which is of a honey tone is a blend inherited from our Malay ancestors and the Spanish conquistadors who has occupied the Philippines for more than 300 years. So again, if you will compare us with other Asian Malays (Malaysians & Indonesians) we still look different because of our Spanish blood. We look more like the South Americans, Brazilians, Columbians, etc which adds more to our air of mysticism. We have the skin color western men and women alike aspire to have when they go to the beaches, a perpetual tan!

Now the next point is cleanliness. I know the country doesn’t look very clean. But it is only the capital city that doesn’t look clean. If you go to the countryside, it is actually clean. The capital city is only like that because of the staggering poverty in the area. But the average Filipina is actually very meticulous in terms of physical cleanliness. Believe me, it felt weird when I first got into Europe and found all of the loos carpeted wall to wall, because that only meant one thing, I cannot wash myself after I use the toilet. I had to look for stuff like basin, pail & dipper… When you’re use to one thing it doesn’t feel right not to do it anymore, isn’t it? No less than a shower a day (and I mean washing the hair everyday!), brushing teeth 3 times, plus vanity habits. I am not judging other people’s hygiene. I am just explaining that this is how we do things. We actually wash our privates every time we use the toilet. My husband use to tell everyone I take a shower every time I go “in there”, which is more or less true because I use the showerhead since there are no dippers in the UK. But this is just to illustrate how meticulous we are with ourselves and we wouldn’t compromise that or change no matter where we go. But who wouldn’t want a clean & sweet-smelling girl, huh? I mean we do use spice a lot too but we don’t end up smelling spicy, do we?

Now the other reasons are actually misconceptions which deal with Filipinas being submissive. This is so not true! I mean hello! We’re not traditional Japanese or something. Although there are some girls who doesn’t mind being bossed around, not all of us do. I personally don’t! Ask my husband who’s the boss and he’ll tell you… hehehe! So if you’re thinking of getting a submissive wife and considering a Filipina, think twice!

Although most Filipinas are domesticated, by that I mean they are trained to work around the house; there are a few who aren’t. Like me for example. All 4 of my sisters are good cooks and are handy with chores around the house, I’m not. I’ve always been academic. My life revolves around books and didn’t have much time to learn household chores and they accept me for that. The rewards come in a different way. Yes I can’t cook but I can certainly carry a conversation on almost any topic. My husband can take me in any big events without getting himself worried that I will make a mockery of myself. I certainly know my rights and I’m not afraid to stand up for it, something a lot of Filipinas abroad don’t have. I have a very strong personality and it suits my husband just right. But anyway, it’s all about personal choices, isn’t it? What could work for my husband might not suit another western man. What this article deals with is about Filipinas in general. There may be an odd one or two, like me. But it generally says most of it. "